May 2015: Two weeks back I thought, farewell won’t be a big deal for me. After all, one must embrace change with open arms and sometimes it is alright to let go; and await future with a warm heart. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
If life were a book, chords of emotion and sentiment would prevent me from turning this chapter close. How my heart knows that even though the book remains to be read, the climax has been revealed. The story intoxicates me with ecstasy. The flashbacks keep me stupefied and while I reminisce those gleeful faces of my juniors that put me in a trance; I realize I have reached an emotional pinnacle. As I look at my brothers and cry inside, I wonder what I would not give up to relive these four years. I take a look down the memory lane and realize how far we have come from the time this started on July 23, 2011. An impassioned journey so enticing that I never imagined would end. Never could imagine, could I? My heart breaks as I pen down my tears here and the harsh reality that my stay at IITJ is over crushes me inside.
I remember being a stark introvert, so insecure, vulnerable and withdrawn four years back.
I was so confused as a little child
trying to take what I could get
scared that I couldn’t find;
all the answers, honey*
But when I look back and though the details are hazy and clouded by emotion I see how the IITJ family was instrumental in helping me evolve and turn around my life. I never knew I was forging such divine bonds with people, tenacious enough to stand the test of time and distance.
Isn’t it ironic that, I had very fulfilling conversations with several juniors on the last day. Last day; when we were together for years. When I look at you and imagine you some years down the line, I see ladies and gentlemen brimming with confidence. Letting go becomes so difficult and emotion takes the best of you.
The road gets tough, I don’t know why. The road is long but we must carry on.*
IIT Jodhpur – Thank you for a walk on the wild side.*
An excerpt from the final Jodhpur – Delhi train journey.
Uncle: Beta, achha package hai, 1-2 saal naukri ka experience leke shaddi karlo; mummy ko aaram ho jayega.
Me: Uncle, akhbar mein ad dalva diya hai.
* The downsides of listening to melancholic Lana Del Ray songs is that you tend to pull lines from it into your blog post.